Max and Suzanne

Here are some memories of the courtship of Suzanne and me.

Jitterbug Drops

When I was working at InsMark, a friend of mine, Marc Couderye, was putting on a jitterbug dance party, and since he knew that I had be taking jitterbug lessons, asked me to go to the dance.

I gladly agreed and was dancing with Stacie Hibino, who also knew how to do some jitterbug. I was doing quite a few advanced moves, like the sidecar, where you had to throw the girl up into the air. After awhile, I got a little tired, and ended up dropping Stacie a few times. Not too hard, but it was noticed.

Later I saw a cute girl standing on the side and asked her to dance. She looked at me and said “No way, I saw what you did to Stacie!”. That girl was my future wife, Suzanne Lowe.

Avenue Ballroom

I enjoyed talking to Sue that night, so the next time I called information to try to find her phone number. I told the operator “Suzanne Lo, spelled L-O”. There was no listing.

Several months later, Marc said a bunch of friends were going to Avenue Ballroom in San Francisco to do some more jitterbug. When the night arrived, I was feeling tired, and really wanted to stay home. But I forced myself to go.

At Avenue Ballroom, Suzanne and her roommate Suzie Snow were there, and I had fun dancing. When it was time to leave, Suzie didn’t have a ride home so I offered to give her a lift. Before dropping her off at he apartment in Berkeley, I asked for their phone number. The next day, I called and asked to talk to Suzanne and then asked her out. Rather audacious, I know, but at least it got the job done.

First Date

Right before our first date, I bought a new barbecue. So I brought Suzanne over and cooked her steak and lobster on the brand new barbecue. Then we went dancing at Club 9 in the city. (Fact: that was the last time we went dancing at a club in the city!) Finally I brought her back and we went in the Jacuzzi. The date was fun, but not exceptional. But when I saw her in her bathing suit and realized she had a cute butt, I decided to ask her out again.

Salinas

This part of the story comes out drastically different depending on whether Suzanne or I am telling it. My recollection is that after our second or third date, Suzanne said she was going home for the weekend and asked me if I wanted to go. Suzanne says that she got tired of mey asking her out all the time, and decided to escape to her parent’s house in Salinas. Just to be nice, she says that she asked if I wanted to go with her, because she thought there was no way that I would accept the offer. I did.

(There is one piece of evidence that supports my side of the story. Suzanne did draw me an elaborate map to her parents house, which I still have. Now, if she really didn’t want me to come, why would she spend so much time on a detailed map?!?)

I don’t remember the exact details of that first visit to Salinas, but I do know that her whole family made me feel very comfortable and welcome. Years later, during my toast at our wedding rehearsal dinner, would stand up and say that I wasn’t sure if I fell in love with Suzanne, or her family, first.

Newport

During this time, I was doing some consulting in Newport, so I was away from Suzanne several times for about a week. One particular trip, my Dad was gone too so it was just my Mom and I at home. I remember the house being very quiet, and being very lonely. Then it struck me: I couldn’t imagine my life without Suzanne in it. That is when I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her.

Proposal

I don’t think it was because I am old-fashioned, as much as I needed help picking out the ring, but I asked permission from Suzanne’s parents to marry her before I asked Suzanne. I remember driving down to Salinas while Sue was with a group of friends watching the World Series, and sitting around the Lowe’s round white table and asking her parents for Suzanne’s hand in marriage. They quickly agreed and her mom was very excited and emotional and wanted to talk about the wedding. Her dad in his amusing way, quickly wanted to change the subject and ask if I thought IBM was a good stock to buy. At the time, this seemed a little strange, but looking back, it was an exceptionally strong measure of his approval to readily accept me as part of the family and want to move on to more important issues.

After that, the actual proposal was fairly anti-climatic. I wrapped up the ring in a box in another box in another box, and decorated it with crazy wrapping paper. Then on Christmas Eve 1999, I gave her the present and after she finally got down to the ring, asked if she would marry me. She accepted, but later Suzanne would joke with a smile that since I asked her in front of her family, she couldn’t really refuse, and anyways, I never got down on my knees.

Sentimental

Ok, so I am the sentimental one in our relationship. Which means, that I was the one that cried at our wedding. Also, I write my wife goofy letters and emails telling her how much I love her, like this love letter I wrote for Christmas of 1991 or this email I wrote in April of 2003 telling her she was better than a million bucks.